My ears are the most abused part of my body. I experienced this epiphany yesterday when Chloe was talking to my right ear and Sophie was talking to my left ear. My 43-year old ears can’t take it anymore. The simultaneous cacophony has ruined my stereo-sound.
Category Archives: Good for a Laugh
When 1/10 is 2/10
Sophie does not like to be told she’s wrong. As the end of the school year approaches, Sophie is sick of homework.
When Mom Gets Blamed for Everything
My girls blame me for everything. Is that normal? Three days before Mother’s Day, no less? Here’s a representative sampling of the shit I get blamed for:
Religion, Oh My!
So, we’re at Smashburger for dinner and Chloe starts up with her 1,001 questions. Something she’s prone to do on at least a weekly basis. Tonight’s theme evolved into a discussion about religion.
What I Learned Today
Grammy had a great idea. Under the theory that we all learn something new each day, she’s encouraging the girls to keep track of their accumulated knowledge.
Toothless Wonder
Sophie has lost her fourth tooth. It happened the other evening and caused just as much excitement as when her first tooth came out. This one had been hanging on by a thread but was extremely stubborn. She dutifully put the tooth in her little tooth fairy box, but when she woke up the following morning, she came to me in the bathroom with tears in her eyes because, “Mommy! I didn’t get a dollar! The tooth fairy forgot me!”
Barbie is Threatening to Invade our Home
Sophie is DYING to get a Barbie-related garbage toy. As anyone who knows me knows, I am philosophically against anything having to do with Barbie, except for the Barbie character in “Toy Story 3,” who was hysterical. She’s seen some idiotic commercials and just has to have a Barbie.
I Cannot Wait Until My Kids Have Kids of Their Own
Why? you justifiably ask. Here are my top ten reasons (in no particular order):
1) The whining can’t be appreciated until you have the opportunity to be tortured by your own lifeblood’s curdling voice.
Continue reading I Cannot Wait Until My Kids Have Kids of Their Own
Banished, Part II
This is an update of my previous post, “Banished.” It is now 12:08 am and after a couple of hours of blissful quiet while the gaggle was watching a silly movie called “She’s the Man,” all noisy hell has broken loose.
Banished, Part I
The fun has hardly begun, and with only half of the expected crowd in the house, I have already been banished from the kitchen and living room, where Chloe and two of her friends are hanging out. I am currently in the sunroom, which I will likely also be forced to leave once the other guests arrive.