Hello, my friends! It’s been a long time. I’m sure you’ve all been sitting on pins and needles dying to know how I’ve been spending my busy days.
In the months since I last filled you in on my adventures, I’ve had an epiphany that’s changed the way I view my place in the world.
Wait for it…
I am a living, breathing, barking primer on how to embrace the seven deadly sins and thrive.
I know. You refuse to admit it because it would damage your reputation if you did. But you’ve missed me, haven’t you? I’ve missed you, too, although I’ve honestly missed your adulation more.
Don’t blame me for my absence on this blog. It’s human mom’s fault. She’s been too busy crafting elaborate essays that leave no time for me to make my own artistic contributions to this website. It’s a travesty.
But I’ve finally commandeered the site and boy, do I have a lot to catch you up on since my last post more than six months ago.
No, I am not pregnant (that factory closed 8.75 years ago). My third child’s name is Truffle. And he’s technically not a child but a canine. But like Chloe and Sophie, he demands much of my time, attention and affection.
If you had asked me a couple of years ago whether I’d ever write about a dog in a loving and maternal way, I would have laughed you out of my house. But look who’s eating crow now.
WARNING!
Today’s post is NSFW (for those of you who are behind on your Internet jargon, that means “not safe for work”). So if you’re reading this while at your desk, stop now and wait until you get home. Otherwise, you may get fired.
Continue reading I May Be Castrated, But I Am Still Super Truffle
Greetings, friends. It’s been some time since I last took over human mom’s blog, but I’ve been saving the stories for just the right moment. And it now seems that moment has arrived.
Greetings to all of my furry and non-furry friends, dogs and humans alike (as well as humans who are furry and dogs that aren’t furry).
My favorite Sophie and human mom have seen “The Lego Movie” twice so far. And my human mom has been warbling the chorus of the film’s song “Everything Is Awesome!” to everyone’s great dismay. But the song is the perfect musical accompaniment for today’s blog post. Why, you ask? Read on, my loyal fans, read on.
Continue reading Everything Is Awesome! (When Super Truffle’s Not Resource Guarding)
Hello, my friends. Tomorrow is a momentous day for me. I will be six months old. My human family tells me it’s not a real birthday. Whatever. They’re such Debbie Downers. I beg to disagree with them (and believe me, I’m good at begging). My human sister Chloe officially celebrated joining the Teenageddon army the other day, and now I am a terrible teen, too.
Get your dancing shoes on, folks! “I’m Sexy and I Know It” is the theme for today’s blog post.
I am full of love these days. Pure unadulterated love. Love for my new toys, received on that crazy holiday that is really not environmentally friendly with all the wrapping paper it produces. Love for my new bones, which are so meaty and delicious that I continue to act a little like a hound of the Baskervilles when anyone approaches me while I’m chewing on them (I have improved, however – just ask my human mom). Love for my friends, Tony and Mira, who tire me out whenever I see them. Love for my little Sophie who trains me like a pro and cuddles me. Love for my human mom who buys me said bones and who hasn’t been yelling at me as much as she used to. Love for my big Chloe who is still so clueless about dogs that I’m able to act like a maniac with her because she has no idea how to handle my awesomeness. Love for my human dad who calls me in his irresistible French accent, “Ma petite Truffe!” Yes, he persists in using the feminine even though I’m very much a male.
