Now that I have the luxury of time, I tackled my second task as Chief Mom Officer this morning. The folding of fitted sheets. Didn’t worry about it so much during the 12 years our beloved Esperanza was with us, since she did our laundry. But last fall, I realized that I sucked at folding fitted sheets. So badly, in fact, that after my French husband made several half-assed attempts to show me how it was done, he gave up. Remember, his wife is someone who also royally sucks at ironing.
Figuring that this was a small and manageable project – hell, I survived law school, for crying out loud, I decided to take advantage of some of the 1,320,000,000 (I kid you not) videos and written instructions that come up when one Googles “how to fold a fitted sheet.” I watched and tried to follow the first seven how-to videos, before I felt like a complete idiot and more than a little frustrated.
Refusing to succumb to the agony of defeat, I came across the eighth entry in the search results – a video starring Martha and Oprah. I thought to myself, with two heavy hitters like Martha and Oprah, how could I possibly go wrong? Indeed, they did not let me down. I intently watched the video about five times.
And then, a miraculous thing happened. The birds starting singing, the flowers bloomed and a beautiful light shone down from the heavens onto the table where I was folding the sheet. OK, not quite – I was in the basement squinting under headache-inducing fluorescent lights. But if I were a god-fearing soul, I would have most certainly attributed the beautifully folded sheet depicted in the photo below as the work of a higher being. But alas, I’m a heathen, so I get to take all the credit (with thanks to Martha and Oprah thrown in for good measure).