I just wish that I could spend more time with the girls. That I didn’t have to work. That I was better at concealing my stress from them at the end of a long day. That I was better at shutting off the work-focused part of the brain and compartmentalizing.
August is supposed to be a relatively quiet month, but the last two Augusts have not been anywhere near quiet at work. It won’t last forever, I know. But it can get so frustrating. I want to be there for my girls and leave work behind when I arrive home in the evenings and during the weekends, but I’m bad at it. Ugh.
Maybe I’ll learn. With a little bit of luck it’ll be before they head off to college. But you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I just hope that when my girls are older, they’ll appreciate the efforts I tried to make. That is, assuming they’re not in therapy.