When she realized what was going to accompany her chicken nuggets, she about collapsed from excitement. She screamed. “Oh my goodness! I can’t believe it! It’s a Barbie mermaid!” She danced. She squealed. She screamed and danced some more. When she got her Barbie mermaid into her hands, she looked at it with such admiration and love, I felt a twinge of jealousy. She hasn’t let it out of her sight since.

How I despise Barbies. This one may have to go mysteriously missing sometime in the near future. But I imagine I won’t have to make it disappear. She’ll eventually lose it on her own. The countdown begins.