The Joy of Being Locked Out of the School

The head teacher blew the whistle to signal recess was over. We all ran to the door and joined the mob of kids going in. Once I was at the top of the stairs, I realized that I had left my lunchbox outside. Dammit. Now I had to go back out.

I waited for the herd of people to clear and went back out. There weren’t any teachers there (or anyone else for that matter).  I ran to the bleachers to grab my lunchbox, but it wasn’t there. Double dammit. Where was it? I ran back to the door to go back inside. And it was locked. Triple Dammit.

Now what the hell was I supposed to do? I jiggled the door a bit, the same way you press a button over and over on a remote, even when you know the batteries are dead. I jingled it a bit more, and someone must’ve heard because all of sudden the door opened. NOT. No, sadly the door remained locked. Idiot, idiot, IDIOT. I KNEW the doors locked by themselves but super-smart me had managed to forget that fact at just the right time. Crap. I waited by the door hoping someone would come. No one did, while this staircase is normally packed. Great.

I looked around trying to find the janitor whom I had seen when I walked up to the door. He probably had keys, right? I turned around to see him standing behind me, and I asked if he could open the door for me. He did so I walked right on in. NOT. What really happened was the janitor was about 50 feet away.

“Excuse me!” I called.

*No response*

“Excuse ME!”

*Keeps on walking*

“EXCUSE ME!!!”

*Back still facing me*

“EXCUUUSE MEEE!!!!”

*Enters his car*

Well that plan just went down the toilet.

Now what?! I waited by the door for another minute, but no one came by. So what I did instead was run around the school to get to the main entrance. Except sadly no one comes by the main entrance because it goes directly to a staircase which goes to the main level. So I was waiting there for a while with no one in sight. LIGHTBULB! THE BUZZER! I turn to my right, and there was the glorious buzzer! And even though it’s like illegal for a kid to use the buzzer, I practically stabbed the button. And waited for the door to click open. And waited. WHY WASN’T IT OPENING?!! Oh okay, there was a little tap just then. I push the door, it doesn’t open. I look down. OH. I push the “push bar.” VOILA. I ran up the steps and bullied my way through the crowd to get to class. I arrived on time, with a couple minutes to spare.

I’m in the school, and I take a breatH of fresh-school-air. Now where was my lunchbox? I had totally forgotten in my predicament of being outside. OH LIGHTBULB AGAIN. It was in my locker! GUHHH. IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT.

As I went past my friends, I told them I locked myself out of the school. They were all super psyched to hear my story (at least that’s how I remember it). And when I got to Language Arts (English), I sat in my chair to recount my story to pretty much anyone who listened.