Chloe’s Three Biggest Fails/Highlights of the Past Week – Part I

P.S. This is the extremely talented Chloe writing.

The Soda Can Apocalypse

During lunch, when with a crowded group of people, there will come the time when you knock something over.  For some it goes worse than others, as for me it went worse. When I knocked my friend’s seltzer can over, I went into immediate action mode.

Step One – Take Immediate Course of Action (as in the first thing that comes to mind).
WARNING: Good Results Not Guaranteed. The soda can was on its side so obviously what a normal person would do is turn it right-side up. And that’s what I did.  At least I thought so. I turned it up. And was so relieved when I had stopped the flow. I was less relieved when I realized it was still pouring out. Had my cat-like reflexes gone awry? Me, being my skilled self, had turned it upside down. Good job, Chloe. So there the seltzer was, just forming an even bigger puddle, and by the time I got it upright, almost all of the seltzer was gone. Almost.

Step Two- Save Yourself
I scanned around to make sure my backpack wasn’t anywhere near that puddle, and it wasn’t. Crisis averted. Next I looked to see where my lunchbox was, which happened to be right next to the soda can. Wonderful.  The next course of action would be to move the lunch box, and that’s what I did… kind of. In the process of shoving my lunch box across the table, I also knocked down the soda can. Again. At this point I was just kind of like, “Are you friggin’ kidding me?” But sadly that was not the case. Yes, the soda can had tipped over, for the third time. I watched in horror as the last ounce of seltzer dripped out of the can.

Step Three- Run Like Hell to Get Paper Towels
The next step to fixing this was to get the paper towels. I sprinted to the bathroom and pushed the door open and grabbed a handful of paper towels (I really should have grabbed two handfuls), and then sprinted back to the classroom where my mess awaited me. I went on my hands and knees – Cinderella-style – and started scrubbing away. Until I finally realized that what I was doing had become useless. I sprinted through the halls yet again, to get more towels. I started scrubbing. When I realized that it had spilled on some kids backpack. Crap.

Step Four- Awkwardly Tell the Kid What Happened
I searched around during recess, but he wasn’t there. I had searched around before recess but I hadn’t seen him then either. I had hoped to tell my story ASAP but it didn’t really turn out that way. When I finally saw (let’s call him Carl) Carl getting ready to leave class, this is what I said (and I quote):
“Your backpack may or MAY NOT (I had emphasized that) have been wet, and it may or MAY NOT be my fault.”  What Carl said: “Yeah, I heard,” in some mellow hippie-guy kind of voice.

In all honesty, I was hoping he’d ask what happened because I wanted to tell my story. Except someone else must have told him that I spilled water or whatever on his backpack. I was crestfallen, I really was looking forward to recounting my story. That moment had just fizzled out of existence. Now he probably just thinks that I knocked down a can of seltzer, but you, I and the computer all know that that is only half of what happened.

THE END

Stay tuned for my “Second Fail.”