I have a gargoyle fixation.

I came to this realization the other day when I was combing through the photos I took during our recent travels to England and France. It turns out I’ve amassed an eclectic collection of gargoyle portraits . I think the old art history major in me – the one who was obsessed with  medieval art and architecture – is feeling nostalgic.

I love contemplating these intricately carved water spouts.  In addition to the practical purpose they served, the sculptures had a more spiritual calling, too.  The gargoyles stood as sentries, intended to ward off evil spirits and instill the fear of god into the illiterate and superstitious masses that came to worship in churches centuries ago.

The gargoyles’ expressions – which run the gamut from bemused to pained to fearful to panicked to pained – resonate personally with me. Because they remind me of me, particularly when I’m having a bad parenting day.

To illustrate my point, below are some of the things I’ve said (or yelled) to my girls that would not sound out of place if they emanated directly from the mouths of these inanimate drainage conduits.

[I know that we parents shouldn’t use expletives in front of our kids, but I do it all the time. Sue me.]

Over to you, dear readers. What would your gargoyle alter-egos say if they could talk?