Listen, I know my big girl is not always the easiest kid to deal with.  She’s smart, she’s intense, she speaks her mind without first editing herself, she can be mean to her little sister.  But these most recent outbursts have caused me to wonder whether an alien being has infiltrated her brain.  

Could it be that the late nights over the summer have finally caught up with her?  Could it be the onset of puberty?  Are the hormones starting to rage?  Should I stop trying to find excuses for her behavior and accept the fact that she’s just being a pain in the ass for no good reason?  As much as I would love to assign a cause to her rants and raves, I’m leaning towards the latter.  

I love Chloe more than words can say.  But boy, can she be exasperating sometimes.  For a kid who always acts fairly mature for her age, who’s extremely astute and verbal for a 10-year old, she’s a conundrum.  And yet, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree – she’s a lot like me, so I shouldn’t be so surprised.  Hell, when I was 10, I was pulling similar stunts.  Not for nothing, my parents’ nickname for me was El Exigente (“the demanding one”).  Even worse, I started in with my antics when I was still officially a toddler.  When my brother was an infant I asked my mom if we could throw him down the garbage incinerator in our Queens apartment building (I’m very glad she refused my request – my brother has turned into a lovely man).  

So, Chloe, if you’re reading this, please don’t take this post the wrong way or get upset with me for writing about you.  I love you very, very much.  You remind me of me.  Indeed, you’re a little like a mini-me.  But cut the crap already!  Tell the alien it’s time for it to return to its home planet.